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I can get so hung up on a clothing size that I’ll buy a less flattering but lower number to make myself feel better.I’ve even shied away from attending events when I felt I was simply “too fat” to fit into any of my clothes.He’s helped me nip my wallowing in the bud, offering positive suggestions like walking, yoga, and meditation.My boyfriend doesn’t “care” about my weight in the sense of wanting me to be a certain size, but he does want me to be healthy.I’ll be the first to admit that I am vain; when I can’t fit into a beloved outfit I was planning to wear because of my weight, I get upset.Dating my boyfriend hasn’t magically made me okay with my weight’s fluctuations, but what his presence has done it make me feel beautiful in his eyes no matter what, and look at why I might be gaining weight. When I get bad news, I want to soothe myself with salt.Rather than berating me, he lets me talk it out and devise ways to not go down that path next time.Contrary to what you might expect, he doesn’t reward himself or commiserate with food, and doesn’t want me to either.
Knowing that he’s dealt with actual discrimination because of his size has forced me to ask myself tough questions when I do worry about my weight: namely, what am I really worried about? It’s a vicious cycle, so living with someone who simply doesn’t let himself care about what other people think is a constant revelation.If I suddenly gained 20 pounds in a month for no apparent reason, he would ask me about it, but not in a menacing, shaming way.In his case, I believe it’s genetic; he’s been heavy since a very young age, and didn’t slim down even when playing football twice a day. That’s something you can’t hide when you live with someone, nor would I want to.The fact that he knows I have trigger foods, like potato chips, means he won’t leave them in the house, but also that when I do have a binge eating episode, he is kind about it.thought I’d dealt with most of my body image issues before I started dating my current boyfriend. My boyfriend weighs over 300 pounds, and one of the things I appreciated right away is that he didn’t hesitate to call himself “fat.” Why would he? That alone was startling to me, having dated my share of men and women who were far from accepting of their bodies.
But during the three years we’ve been together, he’s taught me a lot about size, fatness and self-care. I’d like to say I’ve always shared this level of both candor and comfort with my curves, but that’s not true.