Dating frequency of contact
She was my first love, and we were best friends for quite some time before we began the relationship.After breaking up we tried to stay friends but we were using each other as emotional crutches.My ex and I were in a long distance relationship for a year and a half.We broke up about a year and a half ago, quite amicably.So I told her I didn’t want to hear from her any more, that I needed space.This was extremely difficult as she was/is very clingy, and I’d often get texts and emails from her asking me to explain ONE MORE TIME why I needed space, but I forced myself not to respond and after a while it stopped After 4 months of no contact, I got an e-mail asking if I wanted to catch up.
These are both contained already in the status quo, right? Maybe you’ll get lucky and be able to have a chatty call every now and again.
She asks to talk almost every other night, and she will get hurt if I don’t respond. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and give her the silent treatment, and the cycle starts over. Is there any way to find a happy medium, or should I really go with option 2?
I mean, it feels really uncomfortable when our text history reads “wanna talk tonight? Needy texts, a couple months with no contact, trying to be friends, her getting clingy, me freaking out and then back to the silent treatment. In summary, she wants to be way closer to me than I want to be with her. .” It sucks, because you don’t want to feel like you are unfair and controlling for trying to set the pace of communication in the friendship, but she’s really putting you in that position by stepping all over your boundaries.
My problem is that whenever I give her an inch, she takes a mile.
Once I reach out and say “hey, let’s keep in touch,” she thinks it means, “hey, let’s jump right back into being BFF who text each other every day about our deepest thoughts.” I’ll get 10 unsolicited texts a day from her, about random stuff from her day.