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In the end, they fail to make space in their lives for the right person because there's no room.In the creative arts, there is a saying: "Good is the enemy of great." And I'd say the same applies to relationships. If you're not saying aloud (or at least to yourself) "I love you" to your mate in six months or less, hit the "next" button.It's somewhat early - usually in the first year, and sometimes in the first few weeks. Which is why you owe it to both of you to move on, and give each other room to find a better match.If you're the right kind of person, who's done the necessary work on themselves, then you'll know very quickly. And if you're not saying "I love you," it's not a tragic ending. The problem we've gotten into as a culture is that we feel like we don't have the right to break up with someone if they haven't done anything morally incomprehensible. And so do you." And that's the guilt-relieving part of my argument; you're helping them find someone better, too.But you don't have to wait until someone cheats on you to break up with them. Because chances are there's someone else out there who's a better match for them than you are, too. Because I believe the American divorce rate isn't due to people who were passionately in love but just drifted apart (although that happens, too).
A "great" one won't come your way unless you're willing to pass on the ones that are merely "good." So this is a simple plea: Demand strong feelings from your relationship. Have the courage to believe that something better is out there.Demand awe and inspiration-not all the time, but at least with some regularity. (Hell, I think you might even be able to know sooner than that, but I'm trying to be reasonable here.) And I know some people will take issue with this, saying they were dating three years (or more) before they truly fell in love, and now they've been together 40 years now, blah, blah, blah. A few of my friends have even browbeaten me over this theory, citing that they, themselves, weren't able to say the three magic words for over a year, one simply because he'd recently gotten divorced and wanted to take his time. But what I see a lot more often is people who are in limbo for years simply get married because they feel they can't "waste" the five years they've been together by splitting up now, and instead go on to waste ten more miserable years together being in an incompatible relationship they don't have the courage to get out of.Now, this theory of high standards has to apply to yourself as well--don't settle for a mediocre version of yourself if you want to attract an amazing mate.Be someone who chases their dreams, if you want that characteristic in your mate.If the double standard doesn't apply to you, it's possible you have too much patience. Part of being an adult is being tolerant and accepting of others' flaws.